TMP 1 – Chapter One.

Chapter One. A Spark from Deep Within

Rain dripped on the window, a low rumble of the distant thunder drew closer. It was on a night like this that I noticed something was wrong.

Numerous raindrops were blurring my vision of the area outside our house. There it was again, that tingling and burning sensation in my hands. I had experienced this many times before, not being able to place what it was or where it came from. Somehow it was different this time, more vivid.

“More powerful than you can ever imagine!”

These words crept into the back of my mind again, Nicolas had spoken these words a few days prior. I had always known about my abilities, I knew that I could easily move things with my mind, but there was something they weren’t telling me. A darker secret, they had never revealed to me, but I knew that something was growing inside me, something terrifying. I ripped my gaze away from the falling rain.

The bedroom laid quiet, barely lit by occasional lightning flashes; The double bed reminded me of an immense lonely hole, that was only waiting to pull me down. I glanced down at my hand; a silver ring was carefully wrapping itself around my finger.  A symbol which once brought happiness to mind brought doubt. Daniel had been gone for two days now, away on a business trip. That was all he did lately, – working.

My lips were trembling, salty-tears filled up my eyes, I pulled my legs closer to my body, cuddling up with a blanket in the window bay. A loud crack was slightly vibrating the window, making my body quiver, and I inhaled violently, my heart beating. I inhaled and exhaled a few times, trying to lower my heartbeat.

I need you!

I cuddled closer to the corner of pillows in the bay, wrapping the blanket closer around me. The door was violently ripped open in one swift move, and Ryan appeared in the doorway. His presence instantly calmed me down, quickly he paced over the floor, sitting down next to me and pulled me into his muscular arms, he was gently holding me. He smelled of fresh air, and his heart was racing too, he had clearly been running.  His embrace was warm, and suddenly I wasn’t disheartened anymore.

“How can he be leaving you alone like this!” He muttered, pulling me even closer, gently kissing my hair. The question was hanging in the air, unanswered. I didn’t have the solution to what he was asking me; I wish I did. Yes, how could he leave me like this? We were supposed to be all over each other, wasn’t that what newly married couples did? We had been married nearly a year now; I couldn’t help but feel that we somehow had gotten married too soon.

I was sinking into my body, calming down. Ryan didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to, his actions showed me everything. He cared for me, he always had. I had grown so close to him, closer than I thought I would. Was there something more to our loving friendship? No… there couldn’t possibly be.

Then it appeared again, the tingling and burning were stronger now, what was happening to me? Was I just tired, yes that must be it? I closed my hands and tried to push the feeling away.

“Ryan?” The words left my mouth in a low whisper; he glanced down at me. A lightning flash lit up the room, revealing his intense chestnut-brown eyes.

“Mm.” He replied automatically, and our eyes met, it was like he knew what I wanted to ask him.

“I would love to stay here with you, Toots!” He made sure to me. In one swift move, he picked me up, carrying me to the bed and gently laid me down; I snuggled under the cover as he ambled to the other side and laid down. The vast, lonely hole turned within an instant to a warm dome, a safe place. Ryan softly placed his hand on mine, and a spark lit deep inside me.

As the sun rays shone through the window, I pulled myself up in the bed, looking over the room; It was entirely different from last night. The dark and lonely room had developed to a bright and familiar sight. I turned my head and took a quick look at the bed. No Ryan. Had it been a dream? Then I noticed something else, a little corner of paper, almost completely covered by the covers. I picked it up and unfolded it.

Didn’t wanna wake you, meet me at the lake I have something I want to show you. – Ryan.

I pulled a smile unwillingly. The excitement was luring me in; it sounded exciting. A few minutes later, I was stepping out of the house. The sun was warm on my face, and a breeze touched my skin, I breathed in the fresh air, breathing in the freshness of the day, and strolled down to the lake.

Ryan was gazing over the water with his back against me, as I was approaching him, he turned around. A wide smile spread across his face as our eyes met. He tilted his head in the direction of The Memory Forest, and my heart started beating a little faster. What was he going to show me?

I reached him, and he placed his hand on my back, gently guiding me toward the forest. As we were walking toward the entrance of the forest, Ryan kept looking back, like he was checking something.

The wind was rustling the treetops as we entered the forest. Ryan stopped abruptly, he glanced at me and took my hand pulling me through the dense bushes at our right. As we emerged from the bushes, I was admiring a beautiful little clearing; the sun was perfectly shining down through a hole in the treetops. A bench was standing in the middle of the clearing.

He dragged me to the bench, and we sat down. I wanted to tell him what I had heard Nicolas and my father talking about the other day, but I didn’t know how to. My mind was ready to speak, but my mouth was reluctant.

I moved my eyes to him, discovering that he was staring at me with a crooked smile, which infected me and made me smile. I closed my eyes; the rustling trees were calming, I opened my eyes and stood up. I exhaled loudly. I couldn’t find the words to say what I wanted to say.

His hand was suddenly wrapping around my arm, pulling me around and close to him. His soft lips touched mine; I was taken aback. Instantly worked up, I pushed him demandingly away, he stood still for a while, just observing me. Something in me was intrigued by him and his sudden action.

“What the hell are you doing!?” I exclaimed resentful, shaking my head at him. My heart started beating faster and my breathing raised. He scratched the back of his neck, unable to find the words.

“I should have done this a long time ago!” He replied and stormed to me again, grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my head to his, pressing his lips against mine in another kiss. But this time I didn’t resist, I just let it happen. A warm and stirring sensation was spreading inside me. A certain excitement started filling me. Was I enjoying this? Suddenly reality kicked in; I was married I couldn’t be doing this. I pulled myself away from him. I couldn’t recognize myself at that moment, what was going on. I gazed upon Ryan, then sat down on the bench and put my hands over my face.

“What is going on?” I mumbled through my hands; I squinted at him. Somehow, he seemed as confused as I was, he shook his head a little and sat down next to me, he speculated at me.

“I….” He started, struggling to find the words to tell me exactly what was on his mind, I send a sharp look at him, awaiting some excuse for his actions.

“God damn it!” He scolded himself, he drew a hand through his hair and turned to face me. “Sweetie…. I am crazy about you… since the first time I saw you, I just knew that I wanted you to be mine!” He confessed to me with a confused look on his face, rubbing his hands on his thighs. I was flattered, but also confused. My head was a Ferris wheel, going round, and round. I put my hand down on the bench, slightly touching Ryan’s hand.

A flash crossed my mind. Ryan and I close to each other, breathing heavily. Ryan cast a wondering stare at me. My head was pounding, I put a hand on my forehead, rubbing a bit.

His hand gently touched my cheek, I turned my head a bit and considered him, he seemed concerned. Our eyes met, and a warm feeling spread through my body, a tingling started from deep within me. Was it him or was this happening to me lately?

Then a thought crossed my mind, which surprised and confused me. I couldn’t figure out if it were Daniel’s absence or the beautiful surroundings in the clearing, but I wanted to kiss him again. I was a piece of metal, pulled toward a magnet, my resistance was no longer present.

With an instant, we were kissing, feeling his soft lips on mine excited me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him; I was sitting on top of him, feeling myself being pulled deeper into the kiss. His soft hand slowly moved up my back and through my hair, which sent a thrill through me. His strong arm held my head tighter and pressed his lips a little harder toward mine, I placed my hands on his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble and pulled him closer to me. His hand moved from my hair, down my shoulder, and toward my chest. Suddenly a rush of guilt went through me. I abruptly stopped kissing him, stepping away, which surprised him. I stumbled a few steps back and turned around.

“I can’t do this!” I exclaimed surprised over what I had done, I turned my head and looked at him over my shoulder. He strolled to me; I turned to face him as he took my hands and glanced into my eyes.

“Toots, I love you, and I wish for you to be mine, every day!” He expressed with a brittle voice, I gazed deeply into his eyes, and he stared back into mine. Standing here with him at this moment, I knew that we had passed something that made it impossible for us to go back to what once was. I was split; I couldn’t trust my feelings anymore. He leaned toward me and carefully kissed my forehead; a warmth surrounded me. He moved his head, and his hands gently let go of mine. He turned around and sauntered toward the bushes, leaving me in the clearing. I leaned my head back, watching the treetops, then bowed my head down and placed a hand on my forehead, sighing.

Later that afternoon I couldn’t shake the thought of Ryan and me, kissing. It was playing on repeat in my mind; I needed to get some air. What was going on with me lately? I tried pushing the thoughts away and then headed to the overpass, just outside my bedroom door. When I came halfway, I heard laughing from the bar down in the ballroom, I turned my head and noticed Ryan sitting in the bar with Dean and Hayden.

They noticed me. Damn it! Like the whole kissing thing with Ryan wasn’t awkward enough, but sitting with those two nosy guys, would only make matters worse. I smiled at them as Hayden called out to me, ordering me to join them. I paced to the staircase and stepped down to the ballroom, framed by stone columns, I mostly wanted to crawl up behind one of them, hoping they would forget that I was even there, but that probably wouldn’t be the case.

I strolled to the bar, looking at them. They were smiling, laughing and talking to each other. Bobby was standing in his favorite spot behind the bar; he had been the family bartender for years. Poor Bobby, putting up with drunk and noisy guys, I loved the three of them deeply, but sometimes they would get the craziest ideas.

Mine and Bobby’s eyes met with a smile. I glanced at the guys, they all smiled and had been drinking. Dean marched to me, almost falling into me, to embrace me in a hug. I squinted at him and glanced over at Ryan and Hayden.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked them, trying not to laugh. Dean turned and stood by my side with one arm around me.

“We are celebrating!” Dean declared and swung his arm out like he was revealing a masterpiece. I smiled to Hayden who had a wide smile on his face like he had been sleeping with a hanger in his mouth.

“I got the job!” He exclaimed in an orotund voice.

He had applied for the job a few weeks back; he was fascinated with the stars and a research team had been gathered to go to a sight where many shooting stars, supposedly had fallen over many years. He had been chosen to be a part of that team. I was happy for him, but resistant too. It was a great opportunity for him, but it also meant that he would be away for a long time.

I lunged at him and embraced him; he gently placed his arms around me. I squeezed him tight, not wanting to let go of him again. I was going to miss his topaz-blue eyes and his smile. He was always smiling, spreading sunshine. Suddenly his lips touched my neck, and his strong arms tightened around me. I closed my eyes, enjoying every second with him.

Ryan was staring at me, as I opened my eyes again. I smiled at him and loosened my grip on Hayden. He gazed into my eyes; I was admiring him, he threw me a calming look.

“I’m gonna miss those freckles of yours, Sugar!” Hayden giggled, softly stroking my cheek with his soft hand. Suddenly Ryan was at Hayden’s side, smiling at me.

“Dance with me, Toots!” He insisted, holding out his hand. I sighed, looked at Hayden with a smile and then gazed at Ryan and accepted his hand.

His hand wrapped around mine, a spark lit from deep inside me once more, as he pulled me out on the dance floor. He glanced over at the stage where the stereo was, turning it on with his telekinetic ability. Dangerously by Charlie Puth started playing from the speakers, as he pulled me close to him and put the other hand on my back. Gently pressing me close to him. I put my other hand on his shoulder, looking up into his eyes, following his slow movements. I placed my head gently on his shoulder, gazing over at Dean and Hayden who was observing us, while they were speaking.

“God, I’m gonna miss him,” I exclaimed with a brittle voice, already feeling the longing. Ryan squinted down at me, as I looked up at him again. His eyes were so hypnotic and calming.

“At least you still have Dean and me.” He assured me with a silvery voice.

Hayden and Dean were still observing us, as they continued speaking.

“Those two are gonna get in trouble one day.” Dean joked, laughing with Hayden.

Ryan leaned down his head, holding his cheek against mine.

“You can’t deny what you feel, Toots!” He whispered, kissing my cheek and then our eyes met in a connected stare. He was pissing me off even though I thought he was right; I couldn’t let him know that. I pinched my eyes together, took one step back, strolled over to the bar and sat down next to Dean.

A loud ringing was rushing through my ears, I pressed on my nasal bridge, trying to relieve the pressure that had just occurred. I had no idea what was going on with me. Dean’s hand gracefully touched my shoulder, I turned my head, looking at him over my shoulder. He threw me a worried look; I knew that he could sense that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with telling him about the whole thing right now, where would I begin; with my tingling hands or my lack of ability to stop kissing Ryan.

“DEAN!” A high-pitched voice sounded from behind us; I didn’t recognize it at first, I took a quick look over my shoulder, getting mentally ready for what happened next.

Cady was standing in the doorway of the double doors, leading to the ballroom. In her presence, the frosted, etched glass, with a feather design on the doors seemed to be blurry.

God, I couldn’t believe what Dean saw in her. He had been dating her for a few weeks now, but somehow, she thought, she was like a part of the family already.

Before I knew it, she was standing at Dean’s side, looking at me. I took a deep breath, trying to cope with her right now.

“What are you doing with my Dean!” She was staring suspiciously at me, her high-pitched squeaky voice drilled into my head, leaving me light-headed. My body was becoming burning hot and my heartbeat raised, and the vein on my neck was about to burst.

Every bottle in the bar started vibrating, clinking up against each other. I was losing my grip, how was I even doing this. RUSH. JANGLE.

A glass flew from the bar table and into the wall. Smashing into a million of little pieces of glass diamonds. I turned my look to Cady.

“What the hell are you talking about!” I screamed at her, breathing heavily. She was taken aback by my outburst; then she looked at Dean, who was staring evenly as shocked back at Cady.

Hayden and Bobby were standing motionless, Ryan rushed to me, wrapping his arms around me, holding me in his embrace. Trying to calm me down. At the same second that Ryan was holding me, my heart-beating lowered, I was inhaling and exhaling quickly, having a hard time breathing properly.

Dean and Hayden were concernedly watching us.

“Are you seriously gonna let her talk to me like that!” Cady scolded loudly with squinted eyes at Dean, who instantly became furious with her.

“Are you freaking kidding me!” Dean yelled at Cady, who was shaken by his loud exclaim toward her.

“Don’t you see what is happening here….  God, Cady!” Dean shouted at her, shaking his head. “I think you should leave… I can’t…. We are through!” Dean exploded at her. Cady was left with a shocked expression on her face, turned on her heels and stormed out of the doors.

My body started trembling uncontrollably, Ryan was holding me tighter. I had no control over my body, feelings or mind. A rush went through my body and Ryan, and I was now standing in the Medic Room, in front of one of the sick-beds. I was dizzy and light-headed; my legs were jelly, and the room was a carousel. I was stumbling on my feet, Ryan was supporting me, trying to get through to me. In one swift move, he lifted me into his arms and put me down on the bed. My vision was blurring and misty; the carousel room went faster and faster, everything was happening in flashes.

Shapes appeared to me, shapes I was barely able to recognize, I could make out Kevin’s face, blurry. A sharp and bright light blinded me, muffled words were hanging in the air, impossible to make sense of. A cold and pitching sensation hit my right arm, sending a burning through me and then…. Everything went black.

 

 

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The Journey.

The end is in sight!

For fourteen years, I have been working on this project. Writing, adjusting, adding, deleting, editing… Been frustrated, sad, happy, excited, yeah I basically took the whole roller-coaster ride of emotions and struggle… But, it brough me to the amazing result, of sitting with three finished novels, which two of them are published. The last one is just around the corner of being published.

It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, but it’s not an easy road to take alone, so luckily I have had great friends and family along with me.

I will just give you guys a cheap advice… Marked your book before it’s written!

It’ll make everything so much easier, I didn’t do it, which resulted in a whole lot of extra work, I am slowly getting there, establishing myself as a author, and markting my books. Luckily for any new writer, there’s a whole community of amazing people out there, to help you, and guide you in the right directions.

If you have your goal in my and work hard, anything is possible.

The Metanoia Phases.

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The Gift of Gratitude.

As I started out this journey, I had never imagined, sitting with the feeling I do right now. With such great words spoken, and written about my work, and my book.

I am honored, I am proud, and I am grateful.

Life is a mix of ups and downs, and I have realized, that it’s important to stop for a moment, and be thankful… Thankful for the people in your lives. The people who gives your life joy, and light. That moves you, touches you beyond what you could ever imagine.

Secrets can be shared, and lives are changed, but with great friends and family, what does it really matter? If they will stick with you until the end, be grateful about those people in your life.

Time is a given, we don’t know how much time we are given, so open your eyes to the beauty of life. There’s so much to be negative about in this world, but stop for a moment! And consider this… We use so much energy in hating, and raging over something we can’t do anything about in the end.

My life was changed, six months ago, I heard the audio-book, The Secret. I had seen the documentary, but this book came at a needed time in my life, changing everything for me. Making me think in a more positive mind-set. And with the Law of Attraction, I have learned that our minds are more powerful then we could even fathom.

I started my writing life, as a thirteen-year-old girl, moving and developing through the years, becoming a better writer, and a better person. My heart is open to help ones in need, but I also know the limit, to where I should go to achieve that.

I am provided with incredible people in my life, and I thank the Universe for what I have today, but also for what I will get in the future. Stepping all into the LOA; Law of Attraction. Changing my mind-set to have faith in myself, and always believe in myself.

If I can do it, anybody can. It really only takes, a great amount of faith and beliving in yourself. So keep, that in mind, or at least try to, like me… Every day of your life, and you will slowly see a change, becoming the person you really want to be.

 

Moments Like These

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The Beauty of a Country Life. 

Life is about special moments, moments that change our lives, shape us. Sometimes special moments, can be faded in busy days, and work… But, when moments like these occurres, they are golden. To me they bring comfort, and inspiration. Every great line begins with beautiful surroundings. in my busy and at times chaotic life, a single moment like that of the sky, is precious. Fueling my inspiration, creativity and happiness. I pull eternal amounts of energy from moments like that.

As a writer I praise times when I find inspiration and time to dive deeply into my work, creating amazing and exciting adventures. We are given this beautiful life, don’t we owe it, to live it to the fullest. Life comes with a great deal of hardship, but in my opinion hardship is a good lesson in life, with hardship we find joy in the positive, giving us something to look forward to.

I have learned a very important lesson, you always have to believe in your own work, and writing, in everything. Because if YOU don’t, then who will?

So remember to cherish, honor and praise moments like these.

Expanded Blurb.

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Enchantment, love, and secrets flood together in this YA Fantasy.

Maria had always known about her abilities, wrapped in a blanket of security and love. But, in an instant, everything changed, as long-buried family secrets come to the surface.

Shattering the world and family she once knew beyond recognition, in the midst of all the chaos her husband fails to support her, being absent, and suddenly Maria finds herself drawn to the arms of a man, who isn’t her husband. Torn between duty and passion, trying to uncover the secrets and betrayal, that lay in front of her. Looking upon her most trusted, she thought she knew; it’s hard to get a hold of what to believe in.

Who can she trust, when her world crumbles?

X-Men meets The Secret Circle in this new thrilling and twisting YA Fantasy. Are you brave enough to dive into an emotional roller-coaster of betrayal, drama, love and a whole load of fantasy?

Magical, Enchanting and Exciting, perfectly created for the lover of The Secret Circle, Beautiful Creatures, and The Vampire Diaries.