Chapter One: A Spark from Deep Within.
Rain dripped on the window, a low rumble of the distant thunder was sneaking closer. It was on a night like this, that I noticed something was wrong.
Numerous rain drops were blurring my vision from the area outside our house. There it was again, that tingling and burning sensation in my hands. I had experienced this many times before, not being able to place what it was or where it came from. Somehow it was different this time, more vivid.
“More powerful than you can ever imagine!”
The words crept into the back of my mind again, Nicolas had spoken these words a few days prior to this. I had always known about my abilities, I knew that I could easily move things with my mind, but there was something they weren’t telling me. A darker secret, they had never expressed it, but I knew that something was growing inside me, something terrifying. I ripped my gaze away from the falling rain.
The bedroom laid quiet, barely lit by occasional flashes, the double bed reminded me of an immense lonely hole, that was only waiting to pull me down. I glanced down at my hand, a silver ring was carefully wrapping itself around my finger. A symbol which once brought happiness to mind, brought doubt. Daniel had been gone for two days now, away on a business trip. That was all he did lately, – working.
My lips were trembling, and salty-tears started filling up my eyes, I pulled my legs closer to my body, cuddling up with a blanket in the window bay. A loud crack was slightly vibrating the windows, my body quivered, and I inhaled violently, my heart was beating fast from the current shock I had just gotten. I inhaled and exhaled a few times, trying to lower my heartbeat.
I need you! I cuddled closer to the corner of pillows in the bay, wrapping the blanket closer around me. The door was violently ripped open in one swift move and Ryan appeared in the doorway.
His presence instantly calmed me down, quickly he paced over the floor, sitting down next to me and pulling me into his arms, his muscular arms was gently holding me. A fresh smell was coming from him and his heart was racing, he had clearly been running to the room. His embrace was warm and suddenly I wasn’t disheartened anymore.
“How can he be leaving you alone like this!” He muttered, pulling me even closer, gently kissing my hair. The question was hanging in the air, unanswered. I didn’t have the solution to what he was asking me, I wish I did. Yes, how could he leave me like this? We were supposed to be all over each other, wasn’t that what newly married couples did. We had been married nearly a year now, I couldn’t help but feel that we somehow got married too soon.
I was sinking into my body, calming down. Ryan didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to, his actions showed me everything. He cared for me, he always did. I had grown so close to him, closer than I thought I would. Was there something more hidden inside our loving friendship…. no there couldn’t possibly.
Then it appeared again, the tingling and burning was stronger now, what was happening to me, was I just tired, yes that must be it. I closed my hands and tried to push the feeling away.
“Ryan?” The words left my mouth in a low whisper, he glanced down on me. A flash lit up the room, revealing his intense chestnut-brown eyes.
“Mm.” He replied automatically, I returned his glance, our eyes met, and it was like he knew what I wanted to ask him.
“I would love to stay here with you, Toots!” He made sure to me and in one swift move he picked me up, carried me to the bed and gently laid me down, I snuggled under the cover as he ambled to the other side and laid down. The vast, lonely hole turned with an instant to a warm dome, a safe place. Ryan softly placed his hand on mine, a spark lit deep inside me.
A sun ray shone through the window, I pulled myself up in the bed, looking over the room it was something entirely different then last night. The dark and lonely room, had developed to a bright and familiar one. I turned my head and took a quick look at the bed. No Ryan. Had it been a dream. Then I noticed something, a little corner of paper, almost completely covered by the covers. I picked it up and unfolded it.
Didn’t wanna wake you, meet me at the lake I have something I wanna show you. – Ryan.
I unwillingly pulled a smile. Something was luring me in, it sounded exciting. A few minutes later, I was stepping out of the house. The sun was warm on my face and a breeze touched my skin, I breathed in the fresh air and strolled down to the lake.
Ryan was gazing over the water with his back against me, as I was approaching him, he turned around. A wide smile spread on his face as our eyes met. He tilted his head in the direction of The Memory Forest; my heart was beating a little faster. What was he gonna show me?
I reached him, and he placed his hand on my back, gently guiding me toward the forest. As we were walking toward the entrance of the forest, Ryan kept looking back, like he was checking something. Usually he wasn’t acting this way.
Wind was rustling the tree tops, as we entered the forest. Suddenly Ryan stopped abruptly, he glanced at me and took my hand. Pulling me through the dense bushes at our right. As we emerged from the bushes, I was admiring a beautiful little clearing, the sun was perfectly shining down through a hole in the tree tops. A bench was standing in the middle of the clearing.
He dragged me to the bench and we sat down. I wanted to tell him what I had heard Nicolas and my father talking about the other day, but I didn’t know how to. My mind was ready to speak, but my mouth was reluctant.
I moved my eyes too him, discovering that he was staring at me with a crooked smile, which infected me and made me smile. I closed my eyes, the rustling trees was calming, I opened my eyes and stood up. I exhaled loudly. I couldn’t find the words to say what I wanted to say.
His hand was suddenly wrapping around my arm, pulling me around and closer to him. His soft lips touched mine, I was taken aback. Instantly worked up, I pushed him demandingly away, he stood still for a while, just observing me. Something in me was intrigued by him and his sudden action.
“What the hell are you doing!?” I exclaimed resentful, shaking my head at him. My heart started beating faster and my breathing raised. He scratched the back of his neck, unable to find the words.
“I should have done this a long time ago!” He replied and stormed to me again, grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my head to his, pressing his lips against mine in another kiss. But this time I didn’t resist, I just let it happen. A warm and stirring sensation was spreading inside me. A certain excitement started filling me. Was I actually enjoying this? Suddenly reality kicked in, I was married I couldn’t be doing this. I pulled myself away from him. I couldn’t recognize myself in this moment, what was going on. I gazed upon Ryan, then sat down on the bench and put my hands over my face.
“What is going on?” I mumbled through my hands, I squinted to him. Somehow, he seemed as confused as I was, he shook his head a little and sat down next to me, he speculated at me.
“I….” He started, struggling to find the words to tell me exactly what was on his mind, I send a sharp look toward him, awaiting some kind of excuse for his actions.
“God damn it!” He scolded at himself, he drew a hand through his hair and turned to face me. “Sweetie…. I am crazy about you… since the first time I saw you, I just knew that I wanted you to be mine!” He confessed to me with a confused look on his face, rubbing his hands on his thighs. I was flattered, but also confused. My head was a Ferris wheel, going round, and round. I put my hand down on the bench, slightly touching Ryan’s hand.
A flash crossed my mind. Ryan and I close to each other, breathing heavily. Ryan cast a wondering stare at me. My head was pounding, I put a hand on my forehead, rubbing a bit.
His hand gently touched my cheek, I turned my head a bit and considered him, he seemed concerned. Our eyes met, and a warm feeling spread through my body, a tingling started from deep within me. Was it him or was this just happening to me lately.
Then a thought crossed my mind, which surprised and confused me. I couldn’t figure out if it was Daniel’s absence or the beautiful surroundings in the clearing, but I wanted to kiss him again. I was a piece of metal, being pulled toward a magnet, my resistance was no longer present.
With an instant we were kissing, feeling his soft lips on mine excited me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him, I was sitting on top of him, feeling myself being pulled deeper into the kiss. His soft hand slowly moved up my back and through my hair, which sent a thrill through me. His strong arm held my head tighter and pressed his lips a little harder toward mine, I placed my hands on his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble and pulled him closer to me. His hand moved from my hair, down my shoulder and toward my chest. Suddenly a rush of guilt went through me. I abruptly stopped kissing him, stepping away, which surprised him. I stumbled a few steps back and turned around.
“I can’t do this!” I exclaimed surprised over what I had actually done, I turned my head and looked at him over my shoulder. He strolled to me, I turned to face him as he took my hands and glanced into my eyes.
“Toots, I love you and I wish for you to be mine, everyday!” He expressed with a brittle voice, I gazed deeply into his eyes and he stared back into mine. Standing here with him in this moment, I knew that we had passed something that made it impossible for us to go back to what once was. I was split in half, I couldn’t trust my feelings anymore. He leaned toward me and carefully kissed my forehead, a warmth surrounded me. He moved his head and his hands gently let go of mine. He turned around and sauntered toward the bushes, leaving me in the clearing. I leaned my head back, watching the treetops, then bowed my head down and placed a hand on my forehead, sighing.
Later that afternoon I couldn’t shake the thought of Ryan and me, kissing. It was playing on repeat in my mind, I needed to get some air. What was going on with me lately? I tried pushing the thoughts away and then headed to the overpass, just outside my bedroom door. When I came halfway, I heard laughing from the bar down in the ballroom, I turned my head and noticed Ryan sitting in the bar with Dean and Hayden.
They noticed me. Damn it! Like the whole kissing thing with Ryan wasn’t awkward enough, but sitting with those two nosy guys, would only make matters worse. I smiled at them as Hayden called out to me, ordering me to join them. I paced to the staircase and stepped down to the ballroom, that was framed by stone columns, I mostly wanted to crawl up behind one of them, hoping they would forget that I was even there, but that probably wouldn’t be the case.
I strolled to the bar, looking at them. They were smiling, laughing and talking to each other. Bobby was standing in his favorite spot behind the bar, he had been the family bartender for years. Poor Bobby, putting up with drunk and noisy guys, I loved the three of them deeply, but sometimes they would get the craziest ideas.
Mine and Bobby’s eyes met in a smile. I glanced at the guys, they all smiled and had clearly been drinking. Dean marched to me, almost falling into me, to embrace me in a hug. I squinted to him and glanced over at Ryan and Hayden.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked them, trying not to laugh. Dean turned and stood by my side with one arm around me.
“We are celebrating!” Dean declared and swung his arm out, like he was revealing a masterpiece. I smiled to Hayden who had a wide smile on his face, like he had been sleeping with a hanger in his mouth.
“I got the job!” He exclaimed in an orotund voice.
He had applied for the job a few weeks back, he was fascinated with the stars and a research team had been gathered to go to a sight where many shooting stars, supposedly had fallen over many years. He had been chosen to be a part of that team. I was happy for him, but resistant too. It was a great opportunity for him, but it also meant that he would be away for a long time.
I lunged to him and embraced him, he gently placed his arms around me. I squeezed him tight, not wanting to let go of him again. I was gonna miss his topaz-blue eyes and his smile. He was always smiling, spreading sunshine. Suddenly his lips touched my neck and his strong arms tightened around me. I closed my eyes, enjoying every second with him.
Ryan was staring at me, as I opened my eyes again. I smiled to him and loosened my grip around Hayden. He gazed into my eyes, I was admiring his, he threw me a calming look.
“I’m gonna miss those freckles of yours, Sugar!” Hayden giggled, softly stroking my cheek with his soft hand. Suddenly Ryan was at Hayden’s side, smiling to me.
“Dance with me, Toots!” He insisted, holding out his hand. I sighed, looked at Hayden with a smile and then gazed at Ryan and accepted his hand.
His hand wrapped around mine, a spark lit from deep inside me once more, as he pulled me out on the dance floor. He glanced over at the stage were the stereo was, turning it on with his telekinetic ability. Dangerously by Charlie Puth started playing from the speakers, as he pulled me close to him and put the other hand on my back. Gently pressing me close to him. I put my other hand on his shoulder, looking up into his eyes, following his slow movements. I placed my head gently at his shoulder, gazing over at Dean and Hayden who was observing us, while they were speaking.
“God, I’m gonna miss him.” I exclaimed with a brittle voice, already feeling the longing. Ryan squinted down at me, as I looked up at him again. His eyes were so hypnotic and calming.
“At least you still have Dean and I.” He assured me with a silvery voice.
Hayden and Dean was still observing us, as they continued speaking.
“Those two are gonna get in trouble one day.” Dean joked, laughing with Hayden.
Ryan leaned down his head, holding his cheek against mine.
“You can’t deny what you feel, Toots!” He whispered, kissing my cheek and then our eyes met in a connected stare. He was pissing me off even though I thought he was right, I couldn’t let him know that. I pinched my eyes together, took one step back, strolled over to the bar and sat down next to Dean.
A loud ringing was rushing through my ears, I pressed on my nasal bridge, trying to relief the pressure that had just occurred. I had no idea what was going on with me. Dean’s hand gracefully touched my shoulder, I turned my head, looking at him over my shoulder. He threw me a worried look, I knew that he could sense that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with telling him about the whole thing right now, where would I begin; with my tingling hands or my lack of ability to stop kissing Ryan.
“DEAN!” A high-pitched voice sounded from behind us, I didn’t recognize it at first, I took a quick look over my shoulder, getting mentally ready for what happened next.
Cady was standing in the doorway of the double doors, leading to the ballroom. In her presence the frosted, etched glass, with a feather design on the doors seemed to be blurry.
God, I couldn’t believe what Dean saw in her. He had been dating her for a few weeks now, but somehow, she thought, she was like a part of the family already.
Before I knew it, she was standing at Dean’s side, looking at me. I took a deep breath, trying to cope with her right now.
“What are you doing with my Dean!” She was staring suspiciously at me, her high-pitched squeaky voice drilled into my head, leaving me light-headed. My body was becoming burning hot and my heartbeat raised and the vein on my neck was about to burst.
Every bottle in the bar started vibrating, clinking up against each other. I was losing my grip, how was I even doing this. RUSH. JANGLE.
A glass flew from the bar table and into the wall. Smashing into a million of little pieces of glass diamonds. I turned my look to Cady.
“What the hell are you talking about!” I screamed at her, breathing heavily. She was taken aback by my outburst, then she looked at Dean, who was staring evenly as shocked back at Cady.
Hayden and Bobby were standing motionless, Ryan rushed to me, wrapping his arms around me, holding me in his embrace. Trying to calm me down. At the same second that Ryan was holding me, my heart-beating lowered, I was inhaling and exhaling quickly, having a hard time breathing properly.
Dean and Hayden was concernedly watching us.
“Are you seriously gonna let her talk to me like that!” Cady scolded loudly with squinted eyes at Dean, who instantly became furious with her.
“Are you freaking kidding me!” Dean yelled at Cady, who was shaken by his loud exclaim toward her.
“Don’t you see what is happening here…. God, Cady!” Dean shouted at her, shaking his head. “I think you should leave… I can’t…. We are through!” Dean exploded at her. Cady was left with a shocked expression on her face, turned on her heels and stormed out of the doors.
My body started trembling uncontrollably, Ryan was holding me tighter. I had no control over my body, feelings or mind. A rush went through my body and Ryan and I was now standing in the Medic Room, in front of one of the sick-beds. I was dizzy and light-headed; my legs were jelly and the room were a carousel. I was stumbling on my feet, Ryan was supporting me, trying to get through to me. In one swift move he lifted me into his arms and put me down on the bed. My vision was blurring and misty, the carousel room went faster and faster, everything was happening in flashes.
Shapes appeared to me, shapes I was barely able to recognize, I could make out Kevin’s face, blurry. A sharp and bright light blinded me, muffled words was hanging in the air, impossible to make sense of. A cold and pitching sensation hit my right arm, sending a burning through me and then…. Everything went black.