Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

Growing Darkness.

“Anything I see in my mind I can create.” Nicolas was staring intensely at me, while we were standing at the grounds of Brokeback Mountain, getting ready for my ability training. I was wondering how he could do that. He held his hand toward me, closed his eyes and nothing happened to begin with. I stood there observing him, he seemed focused. Then suddenly a fire was burning in his hand, he opened his eyes and closed his hand, so the fire burned out. He drew in a long breath, gazing at me.

“The fact that you lifted up the entire lake tells me how powerful you are, that kind of power can be catastrophic if it’s not controlled. You had no idea how you did it, because you haven’t yet figured out what exactly it is that you can do.” He was telling me, something about the whole idea of these abilities excited me, but I was also concerned by the fact that I currently had no control over these enormous powers. He considered me for a while. The tingle appeared in my hand, which send a gust of warmth through me, I gazed at Nicolas unsure what to do next.

“The Creation is easy to control, you simply create what it is that you see in your mind.” He told me, like it was no big deal what so ever, just creating what you saw, it seemed impossible to me, but then again, I did lift the entire lake without knowing how. I scoffed at him, shaking my head.

“I can’t do that.” I commented frustrated, his eyes narrowed, and he gave me a sharp look.

“Can’t and Won’t do not exist for a Balthazar.” He scolded strongly at me, waving his pointy-finger toward me.

I didn’t argue with him, I just watched as he picked up a branch. He held it out toward me, with an instant the branch caught on fire and when the fire burned out he was holding a rose. He picked another branch and handed it to me. I was looking down at the branch, unaware of what to do. Then a wisdom came to me from nowhere, a spark lit from within me and was flooding out through me. A rose appeared in my mind and I knew what to do. I closed my eyes, picturing the branch. A huge power was rushing over me and nothing could bring me down, I could do anything. I opened my eyes and the warmth in my hand spread to the branch catching it on fire, within a second I was holding a white rose. I was surprised of how easy it was for me to turn it. Nicolas’ eyes lit, and his mouth curved into a smile. He was clearly impressed, which brought a satisfying feeling within me.

“Good Job.” He spoke with pride and put a hand on my back, guiding me toward the lake.

“Now, we are gonna step up a level.” He squatted at the lake shore, just by the water edge. His hand was just above the water. A bright light was shining from his hand and as soon as the light hit the water, it turned to ice. It was spreading throughout the lake, the ice was going up the waterfall, freezing it. It appeared as if it was stopped by time. The sun light was reflecting of the crystal ice, that was now solid. Nicolas stood up and peeked back at me, he waved his arm out toward the lake, allowing me to come near it. My next task was to unfreeze the lake, but how?

I squatted in front of the lake, over-viewing it. I closed my eyes, picturing the rippling waterfall. I inhaled a deep breath and opened my eyes. The bright light that had appeared in my hand yesterday was there once again, sending a rush of warmth and power through my hand. I moved it down on the cold and solid ice, it was slippery. The light from my hand rushed out over the lake, turning the icy surface back to moving water, the waterfall was rippling down again, roaring at the bottom. I stood up and noticed Nicolas being impressed once again.

After some time, I was left along at the mountain valley, I sat down on the ground and put my hands down on the ground. The energy from the ground was so vivid. I closed my eyes. The wind was blowing on my face and the sun was warm on my body. My feelings were heightened, I had never experienced something like this before, I was overrun by energy, it was rushing through me. The energy was within me and all around me, surrounding me with light. It was a power, that was unfamiliar to me. The vibrations in the ground was going through me, I could manipulate that energy. I could use it for my own purposes. In that moment there was a certain connection between me and nature itself. I opened my eyes, observing everything around me.

Then I noticed a withered rose, I ambled to it and squatted down in front of it. My hands were gently floating over it, feeling the connection from nature again. Let me bring life to this dying beauty of nature. A flood of light was rushing out of my hands, little by little bringing the rose back to its former beauty, the flowery smell was surrounding me. I was amazed by my new discovered abilities. In all my life I had never imagined being able to do what I just did. It was unreal. That power and energy was amazing, something I could easily get used to. That fear from the other day, here at Brokeback was turned to an overwhelming feeling of invincibility.

I was glad for Nic’s help, but I knew that there was something, that they were still hiding from me and I intended to find out exactly what it was, but where would I begin and who knew about it.

Arriving home, I found myself in the Library room that was just beside the living room, it was a small but cozy room, with bookshelf all around the room, covering the walls. A couch was sitting at the right side of the room and at the end a beautiful ancient fireplace was being adored by the great authors. My fingers were gliding over the books, trying to find one that could give me a clue to what I was dealing with.

Then my eye caught a slim notebook with a black back. I pulled it out and read the title on the cover. MERLIN

I knew that Merlin began our family, that all the powers originated from him. Before I got the chance to open the book, Dean was standing in the doorway. He threw me a dreamy smile, which made me smile too.

“I have someone I would like you to meet.” He told me happily, he had this certain glow on his face and a light in his eyes. He reached his hand toward me, I pulled a little smile and accepted his hand. He pulled me along, taking me to the kitchen. Ryan was sitting at the kitchen table, opposite from him was a girl. Her eyes lit the moment she saw Dean, he strolled to her as she stood up, kissing him in a passionate kiss, you could almost feel the love between them, he put an arm around her, smiling to me. I observed her as she glanced back at me with intense and shining honey-brown eyes.

“Sweetie, this is Kathrine.” He squeezed her a little tighter, as I took a step closer toward them, holding my hand out. Our eyes met as she reached her hand to mine and shook it.

“Please, call me Katie.” She insisted and pulled a wider smile, I gazed over at Ryan, then back at Dean and Katie. I ambled to Ryan, sat down next to him and smiled to Katie, who sat down opposite from me as Dean went to the sink, filling the teapot and put it on the stove.

I figured that Katie could only be nicer then Cady, I was so relieved that I would never see her again. Dean was now standing at the end of the table, glancing at me.

“How was practice?” He asked curiously and winked at me, which warmed me a bit, I gazed at Ryan and then at Dean.

“It was amazing Dean, the light that appeared the other day was nothing compared to what happened today…. He froze the lake and then I had to unfreeze it… You should have seen it.” I told him being amazed by it all over again. Ryan turned his head and smiled to me.

“Maybe we should go with you the next time.” He offered with a smile, I nodded to him. Katie glanced at Dean and then over at me, wondering. I smiled at her curiosity.

“I had ability training with my uncle today, apparently I am lacking control of my powers sometimes.” I explained with a smile, trying to brush it off as something not so serious.

Dean went to the kitchen counter; the teapot was howling. He poured the water into two cups and put teabags into it. Putting one cup down in front of Katie and then in front of me, a minty smell entered my nose, I threw him a smile as he sat down next to Katie, kissing her cheek and holding one arm around her. She smiled and turned her head toward him. Their mouths met in a soft kiss.

I was happy for Dean, he seemed genuinely happy, but it also reminded me about my own relationship or lack of such. Of course, it was wrong of me to be kissing Ryan, but I was honest about it. How could he get himself drunk and storm off like that? He was turning just before my eyes, into a person I couldn’t recognize. He was becoming more and more strange to me, I had no idea how we could find a way back to what we once had.

The white ceiling seemed endless as I was lying in bed that night, thoughts running wild. I hadn’t been able to sleep, I had given up on getting any sleep that night. The room was quiet and lonely. I sat up in the bed gazing toward the window. I strolled to the window, observing the rain sprinkle on the window. Hearing the rain tapping on the glass was calming me down, but still there was a huge longing in my body. I looked over my shoulder, at the empty bed. My mind traveled to one specific person, I knew that I shouldn’t go there, that it could probably lead to something that I would regret, but the longing in my heart was unbearable.

I stepped out on the hallway, the house was quiet. Everybody had retrieved to their rooms for the night. I turned my head, looking down the hall at my right, there was only a few steps between him and my loneliness. I sighed and paced to his door, knocking.

The door was quietly pulled open, revealing Ryan at the other side of the door. He didn’t seem surprised to see me, maybe he had been expecting it, since Daniel had stormed out earlier. Or maybe he was as lonely as I was and hoped for the company that I was seeking too.

“Hello Beautiful.” He greeted me with a wide smile on his face. I answered him humbled, with a soft “Hi” then nothing else needed to be said, he moved aside allowing me to enter the room. I almost tiptoed to the bed, sat down and gazed up at him, who was closing the door as gentle as he had opened it. Ryan looked down, shaking his head and holding his hands at his side, then he gazed up a little bit.

“How can he leave you alone like this…. Again!” Ryan frustrated at Daniel, still shaking his head. I pulled my shoulders and gazed into his eyes.

“Work is important to him.” I was not excusing Daniel, but trying to make it better for myself, which didn’t work. I was almost sure of what he would tell me next.

“He shouldn’t let it be more important than you.” He pointed out surely, I could only agree with him. I laid down on the bed, lying on the side. He ambled to the bed and laid down next to me, facing me. He seemed captivated by me. He reached his hand to my face, gently moving a lock of hair behind my ear, he was smiling at me. Every touch excited me, I just wanted him to be near me.

He wanted to lift the mood with something good, he kissed my forehead, which send a calming and loving sensation through me, he then left the room. I got up from the bed, strolled to his desk and admired the pictures; one with Ryan, Dean and Hayden on one of their fishing trips, another with me and the three of them. It instantly made me smile and miss Hayden a bit. Flashes lit up the lowered lighting in the room, a rumble was sneaking closer outside the window.

Ryan came back to the room with strawberries, chocolate and iced-water. I smiled as he went to the bed and put the tray down at the nightstand. As I sat down on the bed he paced around the room lighting candles.

I noticed a book on the desk, picking it up I noticed that there was nothing written on it. I opened it and realized that it was a collection of poems. I held the book open in my hand as I strolled to the bed and sat down under the covers, looking at him with a smile.

“Read something for me.” I insisted, he gazed at me and then down at the book, seeming surprised that I had found it. He gently crawled over the bed, sat down next to me and took the book. Then he moved his arm around me and pulled me a bit closer to him. His hold of me was calming, I softly laid my head at his shoulder. Being safer and more comfortable then I had been in a long time. He opened the book, turning some pages. He was adjusting his position.

“Here we go…” He started and cleared his throat. “Her look was divine. Her touch was soft and her eyes like diamonds. Her lips like silk, but none of it was mine, she belonged to someone else….” I gazed up at him, he was sinking completely into the words, he read each one with such passion. “…. she belonged to another world, a world I could not enter. I could kiss her hand and let my heart cry the tears it desired.” In one swift move he closed the book, without saying anything. Then I knew that the words were his, that he was the one who had written the poems in that book, it touched me to see him so vulnerable and soft.

A warmth sensation was spreading inside me and the spark lit within me once again. Our eyes met, and we were locked on each other for some time without any words between us. Something was pulling me closer to him, I had a longing for his touch and the softness of his lips. His hand suddenly touched mine and a rush of excitement went through me. How could something so wrong feel so right. He turned his body toward me, moved his hand from my hand to my cheek and gently placed it under my ear, pulling me closer to him, until his lips touched mine.

A quiver went through my body, filling me with excitement. His lips moved from mine and I gazed into his eyes, I wanted him now, every fiber in my body was longing for him to kiss me once more.

“Let me enter your world tonight.” He moved his lips to mine once again, kissing me softly.

My head was screaming at me how wrong this was, but my heart was screaming for more and with his soft and wet lips on mine, I wanted more. I placed my hands on his neck, pulling him in closer, pressing my lips just a little bit harder toward his, which surprised and excited him more. We were breathing heavier now, kissing wilder. He leaned over me a little bit, kissing me gently. Every kiss was wonderful, I was being intoxicated by him, through each kiss he gave me, his love surrounded me. His lips carefully moved to my neck, my neck was getting moist from his kisses, chills went down my neck and all through my body. As he kissed down toward my chest, I leaned my head back in pleasure. A tingle spread inside me, getting me more and more worked up about him.

He unbuttoned the first few buttons of my shirt. He kissed my breast, kissing down to my stomach, each wet kiss quivered through my body, making me excited. A tingling sensation occurred in my abdomen. He moved his head back to mine, continuously kissing me. Everything was getting warmer and our breaths raised entwined. Then he stopped abruptly, gazing deep into my eyes and me into his. The wrong feeling from before had left me and I was being drawn to him. He took his shirt off and threw it on the floor, leaning down over me again. His strong body and naked upper body was closing in on me. Each touch. Each kiss. Filled with so much care. My arms were wrapped around his neck, completing our connection. I was moving my hands over his shoulders, down his strong arms, that could easily crush me, but held me with such care.

He gazed deep into my eyes again, with my eyes locked on him we were united, and a special love was spreading between us. I placed a hand on his cheek, his stubbles were rough on my hand, then he kissed me again, wilder now than before. I let myself be pulled to him, nothing could stop this moment. His lips were moving down my neck, I was breathing heavier. Suddenly his tongue was carefully sliding over my nipple, getting me even more excited. I moaned loudly, as he was circling it around the nipple, making my body quiver. He then stopped, moving his hands down my stomach, gently pulling off my panties….

I awoke the following morning with a whole other feeling, a rush of guilt went over me. What had we done, how could I allow it to happen. Daniel would never forgive me now. Seeing Ryan next to me brought a whole lot of emotions to mind. He opened his eyes, touching my cheek and pulling a smile. Some part of me wanted to run out from there as fast as possible and something in me wanted to lay here for hours with him. His smile was glued on his face, not subsiding.

I escaped to Brokeback Mountain later that day, the air was warm, and the sky was clear and still I couldn’t shake the guilt that was building up inside. How could I tell Daniel about last night, a kiss made him storm out of the house? There was no way of saying how he would react to this or even when he would be back.

I strolled barefooted over the soft grass, suddenly the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and a chill went down my back. Somebody was watching me, but who and from where. I quickly turned around, nobody was there. A slight laughter was in the air around me, was I imagining it or was I actually hearing it?

Tingle and burning was appearing in my hands again and I was grounded, unable to move for a few seconds. I turned toward the lake again and was about to stroll on, when I realized somebody leaning up against mine and Kevin’s Favorite tree, something about him seemed familiar but still I couldn’t place where I had seen him before. He had a crooked smile, which made me kind of eerie. He was wearing Texas style sunglasses; his hair was pulled back with what looked like oil. As I approached him his smile turned to a mild laughter, exactly like the one I had just heard.

“I sense darkness in you!” He laughed again with a vicious smile and took a step closer to me, which made me stop in my tracks. I held my breath for a few minutes, being uncomfortable with him moving closer. I let out air and stared at him.

“Who are you?!” I threw at him aggressively, the vicious smile was remaining on his face, he glanced down in the ground and then up, just enough that he was looking over his sunglasses, revealing his hazel-green eyes that was staring straight at me, which made me even more uncomfortable.

“You don’t recognize me….” He answered as if I had known him for years. “…I know of your father, he’s a very powerful man, with such a powerful daughter… …Darkness is crawling deep inside you, beautiful one. I bet you can feel it right now in those pretty hands of yours.” He pointed at my hands as his smile grew wider. The tingle grew more vivid, how did he know? Disbelief crawled on my face which satisfied him deeply.

“You think you know your family, but you are wrong…” He warned me with truth in his voice. “…. You will be seeing me again, Princess.” He spoke surely before he vanished. Leaving me alone at Brokeback, I was so confused that I had almost forgotten why I had come here in the first place. But then the thought of Daniel crawled back into my mind and the guilt returned.

Still something in me wanted to know who that man was. Did I really know him?

In a rush I was standing within the Swan Villa library room. Suddenly a flash went through my mind. The man from Brokeback was standing by the Swan lake with my father, I walked by them briefly. Then I remembered how my father knew him. I slipped my hand over the back of the books, looking for one in particular. I stopped my finger at it and pried it out from between the other books. It was a military log, I leafed through the book, a few pages into the book I found what I was looking for. A black and white photograph of my father in his military uniform and a medal around his neck, next to the man from Brokeback, there was something written under the photo.

Air Force Officer Hugh Jackman is honored with high standard…. I will always put my life in his Golden Hands.

General Air Force Chief of Staff George Matthews.

Hugh seen alongside with his co-pilot and Airman Basic; Eric Da Silva.

Reading his name made me realize who he was, he had been a great friend and co-pilot of my father, but Eric’s drive for power made an edge between them. He always wanted everything that my father had.

I shook my head and tried to brush it off, I had bigger issues at hand right now, I decided not to tell anyone about it. I placed the book back in the shelf and headed to mine and Daniel’s room to see if he had returned.

Arriving at the door, I gently pushed it open revealing Daniel sitting on the bed. My heart was beating faster, and the inside of my hand was clammy and sweaty. He turned his head, glancing at me just for a while before he turned his stare to the floor. I strolled gently into the room, standing in front of him. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best.

“Daniel, I have to tell you something…” I confessed to him, he barely glanced up at me. I could feel the words crawling up my tongue and leaving my mouth. “I slept with Ryan, but it didn’t mean anything….” I confessed with a weak voice. He quickly gazed at me and his face turned to anger.

“You What!” He crooned at me and stood up from the bed; from that moment I had unleased the beast.

“What the hell is the matter with you…” He yelled out to me, it surprised me a bit, but I couldn’t blame him. “You made a promise to me, does that mean nothing to you….” He asked me with fury in every word, I tried to reason with him. “Daniel, please let me explain.” He wouldn’t listen, he was in a rage and nothing I could say would bring him back from that. “Tell me one thing….” He added with a sharp look toward me, I was worried about what he would ask me. I was consumed by guilt and fought to keep myself composed. “Are you in love with him?” He threw at me viciously, I instantly shook my head. “No, I’m not…. Daniel, I have just been so lonely, you are never here and when you are finally here we argue all the time, is that supposed to be a happy marriage?” I questioned him, which pissed him off even more.

“You are blaming me for sleeping with that prick, I am working my ass off to please you and your goddamn father.” He blurted, bolting up from the bed standing in front of me, defending himself.

“Nobody told you to do that!” I threw back at him with a raised voice. “How are we supposed to fix this!?” I asked him, he just stared at me for some time breathing heavily. His face expression changed like he had just realized something.

He stormed past me and I realized where he was heading, I followed him. He bolted to Ryan’s room and smashed the door open, ran in and punched Ryan in the face, so he fell to the ground, I was just behind Daniel. Yelling at him to stop it, Ryan got back on his feet and stared at Daniel with angry eyes. I observed both of them.

“I guess you know!” Ryan taunted Daniel and threw him a provocative smile. “Go ahead Daniel, tell me what you really mean about me screwing your wife, do you have the balls to say it to my face, at least I am there for her!” Ryan threw viciously at Daniel. I yelled at both of them to stop it, Daniel didn’t take his eyes of Ryan.

“You don’t understand a goddamn thing, Ryan.” Daniel pointed out viciously.

“I don’t… what is it I don’t understand!?” Ryan asked, pushing him to say what he was really thinking.

“You are a pity man, you are so in love with her, that is so pathetic. Maybe you slept with her Ryan, but she’s mine and there is not a goddamn thing you can do about it!” Daniel taunted him, I could see Daniel turning before my eyes, I hadn’t seen this side of him before and I didn’t like it at all.

“You guys, knock it off!” I yelled at them, becoming angrier myself. They were both staring each other down, like two wild animals.

Daniel turned around and stormed out of the room, I sighed at Ryan and followed Daniel, who bolted back to our room. As I reached it, he was filling a few shirts into a backpack. I was frustrated and surprised to see him act like this.

“What are you doing?” I asked him with a shocked expression, he gazed at me and kept filling clothes into the bag.

“I can’t stand being around him right now!” Daniel yelled out to me.

“This is where the problem starts, Daniel. You leave me here all alone again, that’s what led to me cheating in the first place.” I fired at him, as a warm went through my hands, making me dizzy. Daniel took the bag to the desk and put it down, knocking over our wedding photo. With a loud crash the glass was shattered, he glanced at me and threw the bag over his shoulder, then he was gone again.

I sighed loudly, rubbing my nose bridge and kneeled to clean up the mess. Ryan emerged in the room, surprised to see me on the floor, I squinted at him over my shoulder, filling the glass onto the frame, picking it up and putting it on the desk. I turned around toward Ryan.

“I’m sorry about him, Ryan, I really am!” I apologized to him, he stepped closer to me, putting his arms around me, I was always safe and protected with him. But in this moment, all I felt was neglect. I could understand that he was upset, but I couldn’t understand why he was acting this way. I hugged Ryan a bit tighter, he could sense the tension on me.

A couple of hours later I was sitting on the bench in the clearing within The Memory Forest. Thoughts rushed through my mind, going in countless directions, how did my life end up so confused and what was really going on inside me. Both Nicolas and Eric’s words crept to my mind again. Uncontrollable powers and darkness, it all had something to do with each other. So much had happened in such a short time.

I observed the ground around me, small branches were lying all over. I held my hand out, focusing on a branch just in front of me, I took a deep breath and lifted my hand, lifting the branch from the ground, I guided it upward and with an instant, numerous branches were floating in the air. A crack came from behind me, followed by a deep voice. “Impressive!” I instantly recognized the voice. Eric.

I moved my focus from the branches which made them fall to the ground all at once, I turned my head squinting at him over my shoulder, his deep green eyes were almost terrifying without the sunglasses. I was concerned but not threatened by him.

“What do you want, Eric?” I asked him frustrated, he didn’t say anything at first, he just threw me a smile, observing me. His silence was creepy.

“You have no idea how special you are!” He told me fascinated, pulling an even wider smile.

“Oh, do tell me then.” I said mockingly to him, which made him look down in a laughter, then he glanced back up at me again, his green snake eyes were staring right at me.

“You are more like me then you think….”

“I am nothing like you!” I interrupted him with fury in my words. He laughed at me again, which made me even more angry, I turned all the way around and squeezed my eyes together at him. He moved one step closer to me, I kept my eyes locked on him.

“Oh, I am not so sure about that, this place right here has eyes and ears or at least I do.” He laughed at me, I was surprised by his words and irritated by him.

“You were spying on me… why?!” I raged at him, crossing my arms over my chest, being curious to what his answer would be. He cast a suspicious look and took a deep breath.

“I needed to see what my competition was.” He said clearly, I send him a wondering look, shaking my head at him, he looked like he wanted to say something else. “The way he looks at you really shows how much he loves you and you love him too, don’t you?” He hinted mockingly with a deep voice.

I held my arms out to the sides in wonder.

“What the hell do you care?” I asked frustrated, putting my hands at my sides. “I think you should leave, Eric!” I ordered him strongly. He started shaking his head at me, squeezing his eyes tighter together, then he turned around and took a few steps away from me, looked at me over his shoulder. “I will see you again.” He said as he disappeared through the bushes.

I stepped into my father’s office an hour later, looking at him with his papers, the medal he had had around his neck in the picture, was now placed at his desk, along with a black and white photograph of my mother and a picture of Elisha, my brothers and me. Two brown leather chairs were facing the desk and a bookshelf was filling the back wall from floor to ceiling. On the shelf was a life time of memories; magical books, photos, medals and a glass case with his golden crown, with six points and a round big ruby.

I remembered sitting in one of the chairs as a child, holding my teddy under one arm and adoring everything on the shelf like I did now. The room brought nostalgia, a feeling of being loved. As I looked down at Dad again, I realized that, he was gazing back at me with a wide smile on his face, which infected me with a smile too. He gestured his hand toward the chair at his right, I strolled over and sat down.

“I know you are busy, but I need to ask you something.” I told him softly, he glanced into my eyes, smiling wider.

“Honey, I am never too busy to speak to you.” He acknowledged with a little lie in his words, I knew he was busy with all the things a king had to attend to, keeping check with magical occurrences and military actions.

“You are nice, Dad. I fell over a picture the other day of you and Eric Da Silva, I remembered that you used to work with him in the military, I was wondering what the deal was with him? What happened between you two?” I wondered, he breathed in deeply and out through his nose, sending me a wondering look.

“Hmm… well, we were actually great buddies to begin with and then he started to turn, acting strange. He was hitting on your mother and acting out on our co-workers. Then he was kicked out of the military and he turned dark. He blamed me for all his wrongs, he was sure that I was the one who got him kicked out and in his mind, I stole the woman he loved from him, after that he set fire to two of the military birds and then he disappeared, nobody has seen him since…. Why do you ask, sweetheart?” He wondered with a bit of worry in his voice, tilting his head and glancing at me. I smiled at him and didn’t wanna worry him too much.

“I just wondered about it, that’s all.” I lied to him and strolled out of the room, heading to mine and Daniel’s room.

Suddenly I realized what it was that Eric really wanted, why he had been spying on me and talking about Ryan the way he did. He always wanted everything my father had, when he couldn’t get my mother, he would take the other alternative, me with the darkness apparently growing inside me.

What the hell was I to do about this?